


Playing With Fire

by attahoe



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 20:51:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16920180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/attahoe/pseuds/attahoe
Summary: Seulgi didn't expect that a stripper would shook her world like that.Kimmie by night. Yeri by day. How did she survive in that hell?





	1. Body

"Don't be nervous. You're going to like it." That's what she whispered in my ear after covering my eyes with a black bandana. I can't see anything but I can feel her warm breath in my shoulder. She sits on top of me, her legs are open, I can feel her butt resting on my thighs. She takes both of my hands and put them on her thighs, her skin is so soft, like silk. Then, she leaves my hands and I can feel something warm and wet on my neck, she is kissing and sucking my neck. "Don't worry, I won't let any marks." She laughs, a childish laugh. How old is she? Her hands take my hands again and put them on the edge of her bra. "Take it off." She whispered and I do as I'm told. I'm not going to lie and say I don't want to see her body, because I really want to but I'm still nervous and the fact that I was dragged here because of my friends and Wendy, who didn't wanted a stripper for her bachelorette party it makes this situation strange. Maybe I should tell this stripper that I'm not the one who is going to marry in a week. But maybe she won't care, it's her work and she is paid for making these things. 

"Can I remove this bandana of my eyes?" She laughs and I can feel her hands on the back of my head. The bandana falls to the ground and I can finally see her. And her body. I want to touch her so badly but I'm afraid I can't. She looks young even though she is wearing a lot of make up. Before I can say anything she starts dancing in front of me. Her butt is now to close to my face and I swear to God that I'm trying to not touch her but my hands seem to not obey my head and start to make their way to her butt, but before I can do anything she moves away. 

"You wanna touch, huh?" I shyly nod. A grin is now plastered in her face. "Follow me." And I do as she told me. She open one door and there is a big round bed and some liqueurs. Her back is facing me and I'm telling you, her butt and legs got me hypnotized. "I didn't think this was going to be necessary, your friends said you were very shy. I guess they don't know that wild side of yours." She turns around, noticing the way I was looking at her body. She takes my wrist and guide me to the bed. I lay on the bed and she is now on top of me, moving her hips one side to other, making me feel horny. I don't think too much about touching her when she starts kissing my neck and collarbone. My hands in her firm butt, one of my hands goes to her stomach and I really want touch her boobs but that would be too much. "Touch them." After it has passed a minute since she said that and I still haven't move a muscle, she stops kissing and sucking my neck. "You can touch them, it's okay." And as I'm touching her nipples, I make her lay on the bed now while I'm on top of her. I can't stop myself anymore, my hands go to all the places they have been wanting to touch all this time. I suck her nipples while I'm massaging her stomach. I can hear her moan a thing that only makes me want to touch her more. My kisses go up to her neck and without thinking about it too much I kiss her. She keeps moaning in my mouth and God it feels so good. My right hand goes down, I separate her legs and I touch her centre. She breaks the kiss. "I'm sorry, this is... We can't do this." I separate for her and automatically I miss her warm body. 

"Oh, no, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry if I did something that you couldn't do, if I have to pay more it's okay." She is trembling, I think she is cold. I take off my jacket and cover her with it. 

She blushes. "Thank you." She really looks like a high schooler right now. "I'm sorry Miss Wendy I should have told you that we don't offer that type of things." She gets up wearing my jacket. I follow her to the room that we've been before. 

"Actually, my name is Seu-" But someone knocks the door which makes me stop talking. She opens the door and talk with a tall and strong man. I see the way he is looking at her, it makes me want to puke. She closes the door and comes near me. 

"I'm really sorry but our time it's over, I have another customer in half an hour and I have to get ready." She took off my jacket. "Thank you for the jacket." She is guiding me to the exit and I really wanted to say something but, what? I probably won't see her again and after all, she is still thinking that I'm Wendy and that I'm going to marry in a week. 

I see my friends approaching me. "Was it good? I've heard she is really good, you know?" Hani is looking at me with her face 'She is hot as fuck' but I'm not in the mood for that. 

"If you liked her so much you should be the one that had the striptease, don't you think so?" 

Wendy and her follow me to the entrance of the club, Taeyeon and Yoona were there too. "Oh c'mon Seulgi, don't be like that, we gave you this opportunity because you are the youngest of the group and you haven't seen a girl naked in a long time. You were so worry about finish university, you rarely went out. But you still didn't answer me, was it good?"

I look at Hani. Of course it was good, it was too good to be honest. But now, I'm worried because I can't take off my mind the way she kissed me or how soft her skin is. And the worst part it's that I probably won't see her again unless I come here. And her age... that's worry me too. "It was really good. I really like it." Maybe I can ask some worker of the club about the name of that girl. "Mmm girls, I think I forgot something inside." Without waiting for an answer I enter the club again, looking for the receptionist. And there she is. "Hi, emmm, I would like to know mmm the name of the girl we contracted earlier. The one with red hair."

She looks at me, more like observing me. I can feel her intense gaze. Then, she smiles. "Her name is Kimmie." Kimmie. I guess it's not her real name but that's all I can have from now. "If you want to contract her again just tell me, I have her agenda here." 

"No, it's okay." 

I look at her one more time and what she tells me got me spaced out. "Don't fall in love with her, she is difficult." I just nod and exit the club. 

After a few more clubs and a few drinks and I'm finally at home. God, what a night, and I can't forget that woman. Kimmie. It doesn't help that I took too many shots of soju but god, how I wish I could touch her body again...

The weekend passed fast. Organizing everything for my first class. Finally, I am going to do something I dreamed to do since I was in high school, teach History. When I was in high school I always saw how people got bored with history, they even slept during class, but I won't let that happen, I'll make my classes as fun as I can. 

But on the other hand, I am really scared about starting teaching in this specifically high school. Irene is going to be there. Wendy is going to be there. It's going to be like high school. I don't want that to happen. I don't have feelings for Irene anymore but, it's difficult. She was my first love (no reciprocal). She was my childhood friend, we were always together. I thought she was in love with me too, she gave me my first kiss... That was until she met Wendy. She was a transfer student from Canada. A new pretty face. She was so clever and funny while I was just the dumb bear I had always been. Wendy was in the same class as Irene. They were both 19 while I was 17. They were in their last year. Wendy is really friendly that's why we became friends fast. And as months passed I saw the way Wendy looked at Irene, and the way Irene looked at Wendy. She never looked at me like that. That's when Irene told me what I already knew long ago. 

"I-I think I'm in love with Seungwan." I knew that look, she didn't tell me before because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. 

"Oh." That's all I could say at that moment. I wasn't surprised, I just didn't know what to say. 

"Hey, are you okay?" She tried to hold my hand but I pulled back rapidly. 

"Yes, of course, I'm fine!" I looked at her while smiling. One of those odd times that I faked a smile.

"But I thought you were-" 

"It's okay, Joohyun. I saw the way she looks at you, she must be in love with you too. You should confess your feelings to her, you know?" 

"You think so?" She looked at me with hope in her eyes. 

"Of course!" I gave her a reassuring smile. 

That was one of the lasts conversations we had. Weeks after that they graduated. They attended the same university while I was still in high school but we met every Saturday. That's how I knew how was their relationship status. And it was always perfect. They were the perfect couple. When I entered university I decided to be totally immersed in books and studying, not going out, not meeting anyone. There were even weeks when I didn't met with Wendy and Irene. That's how I forgot her and how I rip off my feelings. 

It's okay now though. Months ago when I met them and they told me that they were going to get marry in Canada, I was really happy for them. Like, truly happy. I even feel jealous because I wanted to marry someone too. I wanted to have a partner too. God, my first time was with some random girl I met in the only party I went in my freshman year. Then, the last time I have sex with someone was months ago, in my graduation party with a girl named Bora. She was in the same class as me, and I knew from some classmates that she had a crush on me. So I thought, why not? It's not like we are going to see each other again. She was pretty too. And that's all the contact I have with women in my university years. Now that I think about it's pretty sad but that's past, let's enjoy present, huh? 

Well, I'm nervous now. I'm about to start my first class and they look really scary for me though. They are last year students but they look like kindergarten ones. They are all talking loudly. Oh, there's a girl sleeping, she must be the only one that's not so noisy. Okay, it's time. When I enter the class I see that they all go to their desks. God, they are so many people, how am I going to remember their names? They stand up looking at me.

"Mmph, good morning everyone! I'm your history teacher for this year, Kang Seulgi. So let's start this year learning every day something new, okay? Fighting!" 

YERI'S POV 

NO FREAKING WAY, WHAT THE HECK IS SHE DOING HERE? Oh my God, what if she recognize me? Okay, calm down Yeri, that's almost impossible. You are a totally different person when you work. You have red hair while now you have your natural black hair, and now you aren't wearing make up so it's impossible to her to recognize you. But I thought her name was Wendy...

"Kim Yerim?" I got startled when she says my name.

"Oh! Mmm yeah, it's me!" I can see how she smiles at me. Wow, she is so beautiful. I already noticed she is really beautiful that night but now, wow, I'm sure that smile melted a lot of hearts already. Ugh, what are you thinking about Yeri? You don't have time for that, and also, she is going to get marry for god's sake. 

The class is really fun. To be honest, she is funny. But sleep overtakes me and I fall sleep. Last night I had to many customers and this morning I had to wake up early to make breakfast for me and my sister and bring her to school. I woke up to her touching my shoulder and saying my name. I finally open my eyes and look at her, so beautiful. I smile at her. There's no one in class, where have they gone?

"Miss Kim, are you okay? I noticed you were very sleepy during the whole class, so I was a little worry." 

"I'm okay. I just worked until late hours and then I have to go to high school, so I didn't sleep too much." Her expression is hilarious, she isn't understanding a thing. 

"Wait, you work?!" She is very surprised and I'm surprised too that she doesn't know my situation so I just gave a sad smile and nod. "But you are so young... If you need anything just tell me, I'll help you no matter what, okay? You can always rely on me, I'm your teacher after all." I blushed, why does she have to be like that?

"It's okay, unnie." I smile at her. Is she blushing? I must be imaging things now. "Where did the class go?" 

"Oh, I think they have P.E. now." 

"Oh my God! Mr. Choi hates it when someone it's late, I have to go now. See you, unnie."

I run as fast as I can trying to not be late to Mr. Choi class. 

SEULGI'S POV 

That girl... I saw those eyes before and that voice... But, where? She said something about working. I should ask Irene about it, she was her teacher last year, she must know something. Oh, I have class too now!


	2. In The Night

This chapter could be a little too much for some people so be careful! 

 

YERI'S POV 

Going to work can be exhausting for some people. It can be boring for others. Or something they love for a few. But for me it was a freaking hell. I even prefer going to high school. 

"YAH KIM YERIM ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" He slaps my face. And again. And again. 

I am use to it. The knockings. The shouting. The "you are just whore you are paid so other people can see your naked body". The "your father was an alcoholic now you have to pay his debt back". But I'm not use to this. I'm not use to be said that I'm sex toy. 

"Stop! You are going to leave marks if you keep hitting her like that! And she has a lot of customers tonight. She can't look bad." Luna stops him from slapping my face again. 

"Listen to me, Kim." I look at him. Not even a single tear even though he slapped me several times and my cheeks are hurting like hell. I look at him with all the hate I could look at someone. "Don't you think you are different from other people here just because you are the younger. And don't think that you are different either because you are very popular among customers. If a customer pays more to have more services from you, he would have it, okay? If he pays to touch your butt then you let him touch your butt. If he pays so he can touch your boobs then he can freaking touch your boobs. And if he pays to fuck you then, he can fuck you, get it?" He gets close to me and hit me on the shoulder. "GET IT?" 

"HE TRIED TO RAPE ME." I go to him, trying to hit him too but I'm stopped by Luna. "He tried to fucking rape me. I said no several times but he kept pushing me down on the bed and he kept touching my boobs and touching me!" 

"HE PAYED FOR IT!" He takes me by the collar. "You didn't say no when that woman tried to fuck you and she didn't pay for that type of service. So it should be easy for you to fuck someone that pay for that service." He lets me go. "Now, go and do your freaking work well or I'll take your virginity myself." 

"I'm not virgin!" I hate that man. I freaking hate him. The only reason I'm working here is because of my father. My father and his freaking debt. 

"Hey, honey, don't take the things he says to seriously. He just wants you to do your job. You were very unprofessional with that woman, you know?" 

"Luna for once in a year I enjoyed doing my job, you know? It was just that, I enjoyed it and I wanted to keep going on. That's all." I look at Luna through the mirror since she is combing my hair. 

"I know but be careful next time, okay? Even women can be perverts sometimes." 

"It's funny that you are saying this to a stripper, you know?" We laugh, even though I work for her, she is very nice and we became friends when I started working here. "I should be going now, he said I have an important client in ten minutes." 

The client was already there. His devilish grin too. I know him, some girls told me he is dangerous. But what did they mean when they said he was dangerous? 

"Good night, Miss Kimmie." He smiles at me, his suit fit him perfectly. His hair was also well combed. 

I go behind him and cover his eyes."Good night mister handsome." I whisper in his ear. I can already tell he is excited.   
The music starts and I dance in front of him. I let him take off my bra and I let him touch mi hair. That's all you can have if you pay the normal service. But he payed more and when he told me about I freeze in my spot. 

"You know, I payed for a special service, I payed for a full service. You know what does mean, right?" 

I nod. Not saying a thing I guide him to the bedroom. He is taking off his suit but I can't do this. This is too much. I never made this kind of service. I talked with others stripper that had already done this. Some told me "Be careful, there are guys that like to hit us" and others just told me "snort cocaine, you won't feel a thing". I can see him taking something out of his pocket. I knew it. Cocaine. He looks at me and smiles. 

"You want some?" I nod and I get close to him. "It's your first time taking cocaine?" I shyly nod. "Don't worry, it would make you feel good. You would like it." He makes a streak of cocaine and roll up a bill. "Here, put it inside your nose." And I do as he told me. "Now, snort it." And when I do it I can feel how my body is different, like if I can't control it. Minutes passed but I didn't even realize that he is kissing me and touching my boobs, I just realized it when he nail his nails in my abdomen. That's going to leave marks. But I can't control my body, I can't do anything. He takes off my thong. I know what's going to come next and I don't want it to happen. I try to separate from him but I can't, he is too strong. 

"Stop, please. I don't want to do this." I start crying and pushing him but it's not useful. It's like running against a hard wall.

"Come on. You are going to like once I get inside." He keeps kissing my neck and sucking it. That's going to leave a mark too. 

"No, please, stop!!" I start shouting and the guards should be here by now but nobody it's here. 

Nobody came when he rapes me. Nobody is here when he hits me and pushes me against the wall. Nobody is here when he keeps hitting my stomach. Nobody. And I give up. I'm exhausted, so I accept my fate. 

After 30 minutes he finally finish. My wrists hurts because of the way he grabbed them so I couldn't move. My vagina hurts too, I don't know if I can even move. He stands up and starts dressing and leave me there. He just turns around to smile at me with that devilish grin. 

Once I'm alone I try to stand up. My body hurts, I still feel the effect of the cocaine in my body. But I also feel how my whole body hurts. I get to the mirror that is in the room and I look at myself. What have you become? A whore. A prostitute. How can you desire real love when your life is like this? Do you really think someone would take care of you? Of course not, you are just a prostitute. 

I start dressing and then, I leave the room. He was the only client for today. I guess he prepared all of this. Kim Hyo Jong. My uncle. My boss. I guess he just hates me this much. 

"Yeri, are you okay?" I look at Luna but I can not focus the view. "Did you take cocaine?" I just nod. Even though I can't focus my view I can feel she is looking at me with pity in her eyes. "Go home, please. Go home as fast as you can." 

Home. What an empty word. But I just nod. She guided me to the room where my clothes are. I change clothes and I took off my red haired wig. I take off my make up. Now I'm just Kim Yerim. Not Kimmie. Just Kim Yerim. 

"Are you going home now?" 

I smile at her. "I have to go and see someone first." 

"Okay, be careful please." 

I get out of the club and call someone. "Unnie, I need you, please... Can I go to your home?" She said 'yes'. 

And here I am now. In front of her apartment door. I knock. And she opens the door. A warm hug welcome me but my body still hurts. "It hurts Irene unnie..." 

She pull away from the hug and look at me, like if she knew all of my darkest secrets. "Come to the bathroom." And I follow her. "Take off your clothes." 

I look at her, surprised. "But unnie..." 

"I said take off your clothes." She takes brusquely my blouse and throw it somewhere in the bathroom. If it wasn't because she is like my sister I would think she wants to fuck me. She looks at the bruises. The nails marks. The bite marks. She takes my wrists with her own hands. "Who did this to you Yerim?" 

I look at the floor. "You know I can't tell you, unnie..." 

"TELL ME YERIM!" She shouts at me. She looks angrier than other times. But still, I can't tell her what's going on. I can't let her being involve in all this mess. 

"What's happening here?" Just then, she appears and I can't say a thing. She looks at me surprised. "Oh, you are my student. Kim Yerim. The sleepy one, right?" She smiles at me. So brightly that I don't even remember that I'm not wearing my blouse. That's when she blushes, a lot. And she stares. I can feel her staring at my body like if she has fire in her eyes. She takes the blouse that was on the floor. "Mmm I-I think you should put on this." I was about to take the blouse when she takes my wrist, softly. "This is bad... Come with me." And I do as she told me after I put on my blouse. 

"I'm really sorry, unnie. But I can't let you involve with this." I told Irene before leaving the bathroom. 

She looks at me, she is not angry anymore but she is disappointed maybe. "I have to tell you something too." I nod and leave the bathroom, following Seulgi or wasn't she Wendy? 

Seulgi takes the first aid kit. She smiles at me. "You don't have to tell me what happened but you have to make sure this doesn't happen again." 

I smile, sadly. "I wish this wouldn't happen again." Without noticing a tear escape my eyes. And after that, I start crying. And she hugs me. I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting her to tell me to be brave and not cry like a little girl but I wasn't expecting her to hug me. And it feels good. I feel cared for the first time in my life. I feel like if I mattered to someone. When she was about to pull away from the hug, I tighten the hug. She starts drawing circles in my back with her fingertips. 

"It's going to be okay." She whispers. 

"I don't know if I'll be able to trust someone again, I don't know if I'll be able to let someone to touch me again." 

She takes my chin and make me look at her. "You'll be able, you are young." Then, she starts putting ice on my my wrists to relieve the pain because of the bruises. "Can I?" She asks me pointing at the end of my blouse. I nod. It's funny how this remembers me to the night we met even though she doesn't know who I am. She looks at my wounds like if they were something really serious. "Whoever did this to you it's a monster. You just have to tell me his name, I'll kill him." It surprise me how calm she says that along with the fact that she was touching my wounds with so much care. But what surprises me the most is that she cares for me. When she finish with my wounds she touch my cheek. It's soft. It feels good. "Seriously, you just have to tell me. I'll kill him with my own hands." 

I smile at her, a sincere smile, while I touch her hand that was on my cheek. "If I knew his name I would tell you. But I don't know who he is. They just call him mister handsome." 

IRENE'S POV 

What's going on between those two? I've never seen Seulgi caring so much for someone. Except from me. Well, that was long ago though. 

"Yeri, can we talk now?" They separate abruptly, that was funny to be honest. They looked like if I just caught them kissing or something. 

"Y-Yes." 

Seulgi takes her jacket that was on the sofa. "I should be going now." 

But then, Yeri takes Seulgi's wrist. "Could you stay? Please." And Seulgi looks at her again with those caring eyes, holding Yeri's hand. Doesn't Seulgi know that she can't be with a student?

They sit on the sofa, in front of me. "Okay so I just say this straight. I hope you accept me, Yeri. You know you are like a sister to me, right?" She nods. "I'm getting married." 

"What?! Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I was afraid that you wouldn't accept me." 

"Why wouldn't I accept you?" 

I look at her. "Because she is a woman." 

She smiles at me. "And what's wrong with that? What matter here it's if you love her." 

"I love her. A lot." I can't contain the smile on my face just thinking about Wendy. "She is the best thing that has happened to me." 

Yeri smiles at me. "What's her name?" 

"Wendy. Wendy Son."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this fic originally in asianfanfics but I wanted to have it here too <3


	3. My Dilemma

And I tell myself to run from you but I find myself attracted to my dilemma. 

 

YERI'S POV

So it wasn't Seulgi who Irene was talking about. She is pretty though. Wendy has a beautiful smile and it's so dorky. Also, red hair suits her better than me. She remembers me to my mom, making a lot of food and then saying that the food is for us not for her. She enjoys cooking. I really like her. What I liked the most was seeing Seulgi jealous when Wendy compliment me or touch my hand. She was like a bomb, about to explode. I don't know why I liked seeing her that way. There was this time when we were sitting at the dinner table and Seulgi was right next to me. Her hand made her way to my thigh and when I looked at her I was blushing like crazy. She just smiled at me and kept her hand there. It still makes my heart jumps every time I think about the moment. And to think that we almost...

"We are here, Yerim." She cuts my thoughts. I take off my seatbelt. I look at her. I want to- No I can't do that. She caresses my cheek. "You are such a beautiful girl, you'll get over it." I nod, still looking at her. I got closer to her. I put my hand on her shoulder. She looks at me with those eyes, I don't know why but I want to get lost in her eyes. When I was about to close the gap between us, she pulls away. "Let's not do this... You are my student, we can't do this, it's illegal."

I smile sadly at her. "Okay." I kiss her cheek, quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow in high school." I enter the apartment and sit on the floor. I have to stay away from her. She is my teacher. And my life is a freaking mess, it's impossible. 

SEULGI'S POV 

GOD! Why did I do that? I was ready to kiss her, I was able to put everything on the line just to kiss her. I was so jealous when Wendy touched her hand, why does Wendy has to be so familiar around Yeri? This is frustrating. This is impossible. I hit the steering wheel with my hands. That girl was hit by a man hours before and all I could think about was her between my legs. You surely are the worst, Seulgi. I need to see her. Kimmie. I'm sure she'll know how to calm my nerves and raise my hormones. 

I dial the strip club telephone. "Velvet Club, what can I help you about?" 

"Mmm I would like to see Kimmie."

"Okay, I'm looking at her agenda now. She has already go home tonight but you can meet her tomorrow at 11:00 pm tomorrow, could you tell me your name?" 

"Kang Seulgi." I said. I was getting a little bit heated up just by thinking about tomorrow night. 

"Okay, see you tomorrow, Miss Kang." 

"Good night." And with that, I end the call. 

When I get home, I lay on my bed, thinking about Yeri. Thinking about her face, so close to me. Thinking about the touch of her skin. Thinking about how she let me touch her thigh while we were having dinner, I was so tempted to touch other areas too. Thinking about her childish smile, that I want to see everyday. Why am I like this? Stop this now before it's too late, Seulgi. You know both of you would get hurt. Then I think about Kimmie, about her silk skin. About the way she kissed me. About her curves. About her butt. About her nipple in my mouth... Seriously Seulgi, you have to stop thinking about them both. One is your student and the other is a stripper. You surely have the weirdest love interests. 

The next day I try to avoid Yeri as much as I can that was until, of course, Irene thought it would be a good idea if I help Yeri with History in the lunch time, personally. Both alone in my office is not going to help me to stop thinking about her.

"Unnie, I made you some kimbap." She says smiling at me. I smile back at her. Looking at her lips, the ones I could have kissed last night but I didn't. "Irene unnie told me that you usually go and buy something to eat but since you will be helping me today, you won't have time to buy anything, so, yeah." She laughs nervously. I stand up and hold her hand, guiding her to my desk. 

"Thank you for making kimbap for me." I smile at her and she looks at her lap. I think she is still not over last night. I'm not either. "How are your bruises?" 

"They are better but it's still hurting. People are looking at me weird because of my bruises in the wrists. I'm use to them looking weirdly at me, so it's okay." I take her wrist and look at them. I really want to kiss them but I can't. 

"Shall we eat before we start the classroom?" She nods and I sit next to her. She smiles at me, that innocent smile that is hiding such a terrible past. "Can I ask you something?" She nods while eating. "Why are your working? Where are your parents?" 

Yeri stops eating. "I guess Irene unnie didn't really tell you anything." I shook my head. "They passed away last year in a car accident. Since that day I have to take care of my little sister, Yuna, who is seven year old. I also have to work that's why I don't have too much time to study. That's also another reason why I'm not going to university next year. I can't afford it and I prefer if it was my sister the one that can afford going to university." 

"Mmm I see, that's why you are working." I look at her and she is looking at her lap. "Are you okay? You know, if you need something you can always count on me." 

She smiles at me with a reassuring smile. "It's okay unnie, I just miss my mom." 

"I hope you know that you have me by your side if you need something." She nods, blushing. We finish eating in silence. I look at her. "Yeri?" 

"Hm?" She answer with her mouth full of food. Cute. 

"Have you ever have a relationship?" She starts coughing. Oh my god, she almost choke. I start hitting her back. "Hey, are you okay?" 

She nods. "Yes, it's just that I wasn't expecting that question." She drinks water and then, looks at me. "She was 5 years older than me. She came to my house to help me with maths. Her smile was so bright, like the sun. I don't know how but I started liking her. I was just 16 and she was 21. You know, it was impossible and I knew it. I also knew the way she looked at me. I knew the way she looked at my lips more than at my eyes. After that, well, I guess you know what happened." I nod and she looks at her lap. "We started dating, secretly. But I was so in love with her that I didn't care. She was my first love. The relationship was perfect even if we kept it like a secret. We even did that, you know?" She laughs nervously and I laugh too. Then, she looks at the window. "But when my parents passed away, she disappeared. One month later I heard from my neighbors that she was engaged with a man. I haven't seen her again. I guess she was just playing around with me before having something serious with a man. She was with him when we were together though. I was such a fool for thinking that she loved me too." I see how a tear scape her eyes. 

"Hey, it's okay. Let it all out." I hug her. Her face is in my neck and I hear her sobbing. "That girl is the worst. If I ever meet her I swear to God I'll punch her in the face. How does she dare to leave you in your worst moment?" We break the hug and I wipe away her tears. She closes her eyes and I kiss her forehead. "That girl was the luckiest girl on earth for having the chance to be with you. It's her lost, not yours." 

"Don't worry unnie, I don't love her anymore. But... I miss her warmth, I miss having someone that looks after me and that cares about me. I miss that." She smiles sadly. "Well, let's start with this, shall we?" 

I nod and I put some locks of her hair behind her ear. 'If only I could be the one giving you that warmth you want...' 

The strip club was full. The night of Wendy's bachelorette party I didn't notice it but it's a crowded place even in Thursday. I look at some of the strippers. They could be models if they wanted and not strippers but whatever. It's not my business the reason why they are here. 

"Miss Kang, right?" I nod. She guides me to the corridor where all rooms are. "Miss Kimmie is waiting you inside." 

"Thanks." I smile at her. 

YERI'S POV 

I hear her footsteps. Are you looking for someone, Seulgi? I turn off the lights. The only light in the room came of some neon lights that were in the wall. It's better this way, if she could see my body, she would notice who I am. Even though I was able to cover the bruises with make up, there are some bruises I couldn't cover. 

Her back is facing me and I cover her eyes with my hands. "Were you looking for me, Seulgi?" I whisper and I can feel her trembling. "Oh, are you nervous?" I laugh and she gets excited. "But it's your second time here, right?" She nods. I make her sit while I open my legs and sit in top of her. She looks at me, surprised. "Isn't this what you wanted to do?" I kiss her neck while I put her hands on my abdomen. Then, I stood up and I start dancing in front of her. I can feel her staring at me, it's like if she is fucking me with her stare. I take her chin and look straight at her eyes. "You won't forget this night. I assure you." I kiss her, passionately. That's how I wanted to kiss her since the first day I saw her in this room. She keeps her hands on her lap so I take her hands and put them on my bra. "Touch them, suck them. I don't care, you can do whatever you want." She takes off my bra and starts sucking my nipples. "Yes... That's what I was talking about." I separate from her and we go to the other room. The room where he raped me. But also, the room where she touched me with so much care. 

"Are you okay?" She asks me, looking worried. I didn't notice it but I was looking at the bed so intense that I think she must thought I'm crazy. "If you don't want to do this is okay, you know? I can go now." She stands up but I push her to the bed, making her lay on the bed. 

"Shut up." I sit on top of her and I kiss her neck and collarbone. Suddenly, she make us change position, she is now on top of me. She starts kissing my stomach and touching my boobs. And I don't know why but memories of last night, with that man, come back to my mind. I froze. I'm not touching her. I'm not doing anything. And I didn't even realize it but I was crying. 

She separates from me. "Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?" She sits next to me. "Hey..." She takes my hands. "You know you don't have to do this, right?" I nod. 

"It's okay." 

She stands up. Turning on the lights. She looks at me and I look at her. "Yeri?" Oh, no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you know this but every chapter title is a song. The first one was Mino's "Body" because it suited perfectly the start of the chapter. Then, the second one was The Weeknd's "In The Night" because that songs talks about surviving sexual abuse, something that happens to Yeri in that chapter. The third chapter song is Selena Gomez's "My Dilemma", a song that suits both Seulgi and Yeri, since they want each other but the situation they are living make it impossible for both of them to be together.


	4. Living Dead

I haven't lived life, I haven't lived love, just bird's eye view from the sky above.

 

Marina & The Diamonds - Living Dead 

 

SEULGI'S POV 

"And that's everything for today! Have a nice weekend everyone!" I finish the class, looking at somewhere specifically. Her desk. She is not there. And I haven't seen her since last week. She is not attending school since that happened. But it was so shocking to me when I realize she was Kimmie. That the girl that I was lusting over was... Yeri. I'm not going to say that I didn't imagine myself kissing Yeri, because I would be lying. But it was different with Kimmie, well, Yeri now. She didn't even let me talk to her or anything. And I miss her. 

FLASHBACK 

"Yeri?" I stand up, looking at her. I can't believe she is actually Yeri. Oh my God. I touch her hair. "Why are you doing this? Why are you working here?" I'm so shocked right now that I'm not even mad. 

"Please, shut up. Nobody can know about this, okay? If Irene unnie knows or any of my classmates, I'll be over. I can't let anyone know about my job!" She shouts at me and push me away. "Now go before I call the bodyguards!" She signals the door. But I can't leave her here. Now, I understand everything... The bruises, why she was so shocked when she looked at the bed... She was forced to have sex with a man. A man forced her. 

I get close to her even if she is pushing me away, I keep trying to get close to her. "It was here, right? It was here where a man forced you, right? Please, let me help you. You can go away from here, I'll help you." I see she is crying. I search for her hands and hold them. But she push my hands away. And she push me away. Over and over again. 

"Leave!! I told you to leave!! Don't you understand what I'm saying?! Just leave!!" She keeps pushing me. Hitting me. But she is crying and I know she is hurt. When she was about to hit me again, I take her hands and push her close to me. I hug her. But she pushes me away. "You won't understand anything!! Please, leave!! I'm begging you, leave and don't tell anyone about my job. Please." 

She opens the door and I give her a sad smile. "I won't give up Yeri, I'll help you, I promise you." 

END OF FLASHBACK 

And that's what happened. I looked for her. I went to her apartment several times but her neighbors told me that she moved out. I went to the club, asking for her, but they didn't let me enter. I even waited a whole night outside the club, inside my car, but she never appeared. I'm going crazy because I want to know where is she but it seems like if she disappeared. And I can't tell anything to Joohyun because I promised it to Yeri. 

YERI'S POV 

"Hey, Luna, mmm, pass me that beer..." I try to stand up but it's almost impossible. 

"Don't you think you have already drunk too much?" She passes me the beer.

"Nah, I don't think so." I open the beer and drink. 

“Yah, you are going to become an alcoholic, you know?” She gets close to me and touch my hair. “Blonde suits you, you look so pretty with this color hair.” 

“I know hehe” She laughs and I laugh too, at the end, Luna is the only one that keeps helping me here. 

“I'll leave you here, don't forget you have a show in a few minutes." I nod and then, close the door. 

"What are you going to do with yourself, huh?" I ask myself looking at the reflection in the mirror. I look at my bruises and they have almost disappeared. I haven't seen him again, thankfully. Then, I remember Seulgi. Her face. Her lips. Her hands all over my body. I get chills thinking about that, about the fact that we almost did it. But what scared me the most wasn't the thought of doing it but the thought of that strange feeling I get every time I see her. That's why I decided stop going to high school, besides, after she knows my secret I'm sure she would want answers, and I can't give her that now. 

"So you are here." I don't even have to look up to know who he is. I already know who is he because of his repulsive laugh and voice. 

"What do you want?" 

He sits next to me. "Your teacher called me, he said that you haven't been attending high school in a week. I have to tell him that you weren't feeling good these days." I look up him, why is he helping me? What does he want from me? "Look, if you don't want to go to school just tell me but don't disappear like that. Besides, you could be working more in the club since you don't have to worry about high school. I can give you special clients with special orders." He smiles and it's disgusting because I know what he is talking about. "Mister Handsome wants to see you again, he said he had a lot of fun last week." 

I freeze. I look at him with fear, but he is just looking at me with that disgusting smirk. "Please, not him again." I take his hands but he pushes my hands away. "Please, not him again. It was like being in hell... You know what he did to me, right? He forced me... I can do that again. We are family, don't you care about me?" A tear escapes my eyes just at the thought of that night.

He laughs, sarcastically. He looks at me, and smiles. "Do you think I care about that bullshit? You are just my employee." He points at me. "You are just like the other girls at the club. Don't you think that you have an special treatment just because I'm your uncle." I cover my face with my hands so he can't see me crying. "Ugh, don't be so dramatic, you can always just snort cocaine. That's what you did last time, right?" 

I look at him with tears in my face. "So, you know what happened..." 

"Of course I know, he told me everything, with details." Why is he looking at me with that face? Like if he wanted to... "You have grown to be such a beautiful woman, a hot one too. Maybe if you don't want to please Mister Handsome, I can make you please me. And I assure you, I'm way worse than him." Before he leaves, he turns back and look at me. "And don't you dare trying to leave the club, you still have a debt to pay." 

I started trembling and I reach for my bottle of vodka, drinking one long shot. Trying to calm my nerves. I look at my phone, doubting if I should call Seulgi unnie or not. I press the call button and I put my phone near my ear.

"Hi?" She answers with her sweet voice.

"..."

"Hi? Who is this? I'm Kang Seulgi." I smile thinking of her face all confused because she doesn't know who is calling her.

"I miss you. I need you." I don't know why I say those things but before she can answer back I end the call. 

SEULGI’S POV

What's that Yeri? Yes, it was totally her voice. So, this is her phone number. She said she misses me… I miss you too, but, where are you? I take my jacket, and close the door of my apartment, walking to the club where I'm sure she is. 

YERI’S POV 

I leave my phone in my bag and make my way to that room. He is going to be there again. And I know exactly what he wants, it should be easier after it has already happened once, right? But still, I feel like running away. I feel like dying, because that's exactly how my live is. I'm living dead. I close the door and I see him standing there. That smirk, is disgusting. I feel how he is undressing me with his eyes. I get close to him even if I feel so disgusted, and I make him sit on the bed. “Are you ready?” I touch his chest and I sit on his lap. I feel how my heart starts beating fast. I'm afraid even though I'm playing like if I know what I'm doing. 

He laughs. “The thing is not if I'm ready, the thing is, are you going to be ready?” He whispers. “Last time you were crying and shouting, you know, I don't like when good girls like you starts doing those things.” He starts kissing my neck while touching my breast without any care. “Do you want to snort cocaine before we start the party?” I nod. He stands up and go to where his blazer was. That's when I stand up and run away from there. 

I go to my dressing room and take my bag. I change my high heels and put my black converse. And then, I run away from the club. I run so fast that I bump into someone, which makes me fall on the floor. My head feels dizzy because of the shock. That's when I look up but, why her? Why her of all people in Seoul? 

“Yeri?” She gets close to me. “Is it really you? Wow, you've changed so much.” Then, she looks at my body and I do too, unconsciously. I can see she is blushing because of my exposed body, only covered by lingerie that leaves nothing to the imagination. Quickly, I cover my body with my coat, tiding it. 

I stand up, looking at her. I get mesmerized by her beauty. She has short red hair now. She is still so pretty. I smile at her. “You’ve changed too…” I told her that, remembering that day she disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think is this mysterious woman that has appeared?? What consequences will have Yeri after leaving the strip club?? Leave your thoughts of the chapter in the comments, you know I really appreciate it ;) <3


	5. Butterfly Effect

You blew at me with a strong wind. Even the smallest hand gesture shakes me.You crash into me more powerfully than any wave, across the stormy sea, come to me. Everything about you has become special to me. I think this is love, you’re a wind that blows at me.

Butterfly Effect - VIXX 

 

YERI’S POV 

“I know, right?” She smiles at me. She smiles like if nothing happened between us. 

“Why did you leave?” 

She looks at me, dumbfounded. “Huh?”

I point at her with my finger. “Why did you leave when my parents passed away? Why didn't you stay? Why didn't you tell me that you had a fiancé?” I look at her and smile sarcastically. “What's it funny to play with me? I guess it was really funny to make me fall in love with you and fuck me any time you wanted. I guess it was really funny to make me believe that we would last, that we would be together forever. I guess it was really funny for you to have a fling before having something serious with a man, huh?” I look at her, I can't hate her, I can only hate me. At the end it was my fault falling in love with her. “I'll be going now. It was good to see you after all this time, Joy.” 

I turn around but she takes my wrist. “It wasn't like that.” She makes me turn around and put both of her hands in my shoulders. “I never wanted to hurt you… I never wanted to tell you the truth because I thought I could scape that engagement.” She takes my hands. “Could you please come to my house? I'll explain you everything, I live alone, you don't have to worry.” 

I look at her but I don't feel the same thing when she touched me, the butterflies are gone, even though I still can't deny I like her, is not like one year ago. I smile at her. “Okay. I'll listen to you.” 

SEULGI’S POV 

Is that Yeri? She has blonde hair now? Who is that girl next to her? Why is she taking her hands? I walk to them and we cross paths but Yeri didn't recognize me. She was too occupied looking at that girl, smiling at her. Holding her hand. Why does it feel like my heart is breaking in million pieces? 

YERI’S POV

When we arrive at her apartment I excuse myself and go to the bathroom to change my clothes, since I'm only wearing lingerie behind this coat. I close the door of the bathroom and think about everything. Should I believe what she is going to tell me? What if it's everything a lie? I change my clothes and go to the living room. 

“Yeri, sit here.” She signals the spot next to her on the sofa, and I sit there. 

I look at her and she looks at me, well, more precisely, she is looking at my lips. “So, what did you wanted to tell me? Don't you dare lie to me.”

She starts playing with her fingers. “Well, you know, after we started dating, a month later or so, my parents told me that they engage me with a guy. This guy was from a healthy family and since my parents needed money, it was the best if I married him. I think they started following me or something because they found out about us. They told me that what we had was something dirty, that I was crazy for dating a minor, and most of all, for dating a girl. I tried to explain to them that I loved you.” She looks at me, intensely. “No, I love you.” I look at her, kind of shocked. I wasn't expecting that at all… “But they told me that they would kick me out of their house and of college if I didn't marry him. They made me choose between them or you. And I chose the wrong path. I left you when you were at your worst. I feel miserable for doing that to the person I still love the most. I divorced from him a month ago. I never loved him or liked him. Then, I started working and going to college at the same time. I live here, alone. You know you can come here whenever you want.” She takes my hands and her face is getting closer and closer to mine. She touches my cheek. “Yeri, I know you still have feelings for me.” 

She kisses me. And I kiss her back. But it feels strange for me, I'm not feeling anything. It's true that this kiss is turning me on but then, I realize something. I realize that this wasn't what I wanted. She is not the person I want to kiss right now. She is not the person I want to hug right now. I push her away. “I'm sorry Joy. I-I don't love you anymore. There is someone else in my heart.” 

She smiles at me, sadly. “It's okay, I should have figured out that you didn't feel the same way for me. I was a bitch to you, I deserve it, after all.” 

I smile at her. “Yeah, you were a bitch to me, but we can still be friends, you know?” 

She looks at her lap. “Okay… Can we meet tomorrow?” She looks at me with those big eyes and, as always, I can't say ‘no’ to her. 

“Yes, of course!” I write my number in a note and give to her. She touches my hand in purpose, but I make like if I didn't notice it. “I'll be going now.” I stand up and she guides me to the door. We stand awkwardly in front of the door. “So, mmm, yeah, see you tomorrow.” But before I can go she hold my wrist and give me a hug. 

“Thank you for listening to me. Even though I'm not that special girl in your heart, I'm glad we can still be friends.” I separate from her and she gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Go now, see you tomorrow.” 

JOY’S POV 

She had grown up so much. She is so much pretty than before. Ugh I was the worst person back then. And even though she moved on, I can't. I still remembers our walks, dinners, kisses, hugs, sleeping together… It's like if those things happened yesterday. Why can't I forget you, Yeri? Why? 

“I'm going to get you back, Yeri. This time, I'm not going anywhere.” 

YERI’S POV 

I close the door and I'm alone on the street again. Yuna must be sleeping right now. I miss my little tornado, but she is better with grandma right now. Yes, studying in the USA is the best for her now. I keep walking but it's getting late and I shouldn't be in the street right now. My uncle must be looking for me now and if he finds me now I'm sure the punishment is going to be the worse. I dial Irene unnie number.

“KIM YERIM WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR A WHOLE WEEK? I PHONED YOU A HUNDRED TIMES AND YOU NEVER REPLIED!” She shouts and I swear to god I'm going to be deaf if she keeps shouting at me like that.

“Well, you know, this and that. I-I wasn't feeling good unnie. That's why I didn't attend high school this past few days.” I laugh, nervously. 

“Before you disappear again, you should tell us, okay?” 

“Us?” 

“Yes, Seulgi and I were very worried for you. She even went to your apartment but the neighbors told her that you moved out. Why did you do that?” 

I'm surprised by the fact that Seulgi is looking for me. I thought she would leave, like everyone. “Yuna is in USA now. I send her with my grandma, it was the best for her. She was alone most of the time and I know that she felt sad because she couldn't spend time outside. My grandma has a big house in Ohio, so she would have fun.” I sat on a bend. 

“Are you okay Yeri?” 

“Yes… I just feel lonely, you know? I was used to come home and have my little tornado but now, well, there's no one there to hug me. I'll get use to it, don't worry.” 

“Yeri, you can come to my house whenever you want. Wendy really liked you! We will love to have you here.” 

“Thank you, unnie. Oh, there is something I wanted to ask you. Could you give me Seulgi direction?” I bite my nails. I hope she doesn't notice the nervousness in my voice. 

“Why do you want Seulgi’s direction?” I keep quite for a moment, not wanting to answer that question. “Yeri, you can't have that type of relationship with Seulgi, you know that, right?” 

“I know… I just want to apologize to her.” 

“Mmm okay, I'll give you her direction.”

The call end and I look at Seulgi’s direction wrote in a piece of paper. I look at it, not knowing what to do. I keep walking and I realize I'm getting closer to Seulgi’s apartment. Only a few more meters and Seulgi will be there, with her kind smile, her way of treating me softly. I walk inside the block of apartments. I keep walking. Only a few more stairs and I'll be there. The door is in front of me now. And Seulgi is behind that door. I knock the door. Once. Twice. Thrice. But nobody opens the door. When I turn around I see her. Mouth wide open. 

“Yeri…” I look at her, she seems bad. Dark circles behind her eyes and a messy bun. Only a few centimeters separate us. I want to hug her. I want to say sorry for disappearing. But I can't. There's something stopping me to do so. 

“Seulgi…” And she hugs me and I can hear her crying. 

“P-please don't disappear again, I was so worried about you. I thought something bad happened to you in the club. You didn't answer my calls. You moved out of your apartment. I thought you hated me.” And that hurts. It hurts too much. It hurts to know the person I've been dreaming to see has been suffering so much because of me. 

I separate from her and wipe her tears. “It won't happen again. I promise.” 

She smiles. Finally, I saw that smile I like so much. “Would you like to-“ 

And then, all happens too fast. Seulgi is punch on the back with a gun. My freaking uncle. My fucking uncle and his freaking puppies followed me here. “Well, what do we have here?” He gets close to me and start touching my hair. “Oh, it's our pretty Yerim that thought she could scape from me. Nobody can scape from me, honey.” He whispers in my ear. “I told you, the consequences of your acts would be worst if you did something I didn't like. And you did.” He pushes me against the wall. “I told you, if you didn't want to fuck with him, you would be doing it with me. And I told you I'm way worse than him, Yerim.” And then I feel it, a punch in my stomach. “Oh, I'm so sad it hurts, my beloved Yerim.” Now I'm laying on the floor and he keeps punching me. I don't think I can stay conscious for too much time. 

“Please… S-stop, please.” I try to protect me but it's impossible. 

He takes my neck and now I see what he wants me to do. “God, this is turning me on so much. Let me see that hot body of yours.” That grin in his face is disgusting. I need to scape but I can barely move and he has his puppies here, ready to punch me if I try to scape. He rips off my t-shirt. “Oh, yes, your boobs are bigger now. Wow.” But before he can do something more to me I hear a gun shot. And another one. And another. I turn around and I see Seulgi with the gun in her hands.

“LEAVE HER ALONE YOU FREAKING BASTARD!” She points at him with the gun. 

“Huh! Like if you could do something to me.” He takes me by my arm. Making me stand up. “Shoot me and you'll be shooting her too. Do you really want to see her die? You were ready to pay for her, to pay a million dollars just so she could be free, right?” What the hell? What does he mean? “Yeah, Yerim, she was ready to give me all of her fortune if I leave you free. But I like torturing you, I couldn't give her my pretty toy.” 

“Just leave her alone, leave her alone and I won't do anything!” I've never seen Seulgi this way. It's scary. 

He throws me to her. “Here, have your bitch, she is still my toy anyway.” Then, my uncle’s puppies start to stand up, even though Seulgi shot them, she didn't kill them. “See you tomorrow, honey.” 

They leave and Seulgi’s words startle me. “He won't even be able to open that club again, it has been closed by the police tonight.” She hug me and kiss my forehead. “You are free now, Yeri. You must decide now what you want to do with your life.” 

Am I free now? Am I really free?


	6. Hard To Love

‘Why did you hold me and adore me like that?’ 

 

Bolbbalgan4 - Hard To Love 

 

48 hours before 

 

Laughs can be heard in a well known office. “Oh, do you really think that I’m going to sell her? Sweety, I thought you care for her as a person and not as a bitch.” He stands up making his way to a girl. “But now I see you are ready to pay for her, like a prostitute. Well, it’s not like she isn’t a prostitute already.” He laughs again and a hand almost landed in his face but his bodyguards stop the girl of doing so. “Don’t you dare doing something to me. If you ever try to do something to me again, I’ll beat her up, I’ll fuck her. Oh, I’m sure she will enjoy so much having me and my bodyguards fucking her she wouldn’t even care.” 

 

“Don’t talk about her like that!” She hits de desk so hard it maybe end up leaving some marks. “Don’t you dare talking about her like that. You force her to be here that’s why she can’t scape.” She touch her hair, nervously. “I’ll pay you 1 million dollars if you leave her alone, forever. I’ll pay you so much you could build another club, but leave her alone. Isn’t it simple?” 

 

“It’s seems that you can understand what I’m saying Miss Kang, I’m not going to leave her alone.” He laughs again while drinking a shot of whisky. “She is my toy, my bitch. I won’t let her go, it doesn’t matter how much money you are going to offer me. I just want to have her-“ A devil grin appears in his face. “-between my pants.” Seulgi almost jump to him if she wasn’t stopped by his bodyguards. “Oh c’mon, she would love it. Let me tell you something, Seulgi. Even if you try to make her free, she is still linked to this club. When her parents passed away she and her sister were under my care and even though she is not a minor anymore, her sister is. The thing is, if she wants to see her sister again she must stay by my side. If she does not, then I guess little Yuna could work here too, huh?” 

 

Seulgi kick a chair, almost breaking it. “You wouldn’t dare, would you?” 

 

He smiles, seeing that he got what he wanted. “Oh, try me, Miss Kang.” 

 

Seulgi exit the place, not before looking around and see if she can find Yeri but it seems that she already went home. She dials a number. “I got it, everything you wanted.” 

 

“What took you so long?” 

 

“I was getting sure of something…” 

 

“If you are worried about her, don’t be. Nothing would happen to her. She is a victim just like the other girls.” 

 

Seulgi turn on her car and makes her way to her friend’s house. “I know Yuri, but you know, I can’t help but worry. You listened to everything he said, it was disgusting. The way he talked about her. If we wait more, he could do something to Yeri.” 

 

“You sure are in love with her.” 

 

“What? I’m not in love with her, I’m just worried about her, okay?” 

 

“Yah, whatever. See you in a few minutes.”

 

Seulgi closes her car door and makes her way to her friends apartment. “Seulgi!! Long time no seeing, oh my god, your hair so long now. You look tired, you haven’t been sleeping well, huh?” 

 

“I haven’t Tiffany unnie, I was worried about something…” 

 

“I know but I’m sure Yuri would help you, for sure. She is the best police in town!” 

 

“You just love me too much, Fany-ah.” Yuri hug Tiffany from behind. “Should we go to my office and see what we have?” 

 

“So according to what I could investigate, it seems that this man was in some shady deal. Most of the girls working in the club are from other countries, Philippines, Taiwan, Thailand, Malaysia. And everyone of them has been report as missing in their countries.” Seulgi nod, knowing what this mean. “It’s possible they were kidnaped or they told them that they will bring them to South Korea and that they will give them a good life, but in the end, that good life means snort cocaine every day and fuck whoever their boss wanted.” 

 

Seulgi looked at the pics of the girls that worked in the club, Yeri was there too. A pic of her wearing her high school uniform. She took the pic, observing it. She looked happy, the picture must be took before her parents passed away and her girlfriend abandon her. She smiled. “If only she could be as happy as in this picture…” ‘If only I could make her happy.’ 

 

A hand lands in Seulgi’s shoulder. “Don’t worry Sseul, she’ll be free eventually.” Yuri took some documents and give them to Seulgi. “He has also been involved in drug and gun contraband. So we are able to let him die in the jail, forever.”

 

Seulgi looked at Yuri. She knew gangsters. They would end up find a way of getting out of jail and it that happened it could be dangerous for Yeri. “If he ever gets out of jail we would tell you, don’t worry.” 

 

“Thanks Yuri, I think I should go now.” 

 

Yuri looked at Seulgi, she knew that smile was fake, she knew her friend too much. “Don’t drink, it’s not doing you any good.” 

 

PRESENT

 

SEULGI’S POV 

 

“Seulgi!! You are bleeding!! You need to go to an hospital.” Yeri kept looking at my wound in the back. 

 

I touch Yeri’s cheeks and wipe off her tears. “I’m okay, don’t worry about it.”

 

“How can I not worry Seulgi?” 

 

I hold her hand and look into her eyes. “Let me take you home.”

 

“But you have to-“

 

“I’m fine Yeri, I’m serious. You need to be safe now. Maybe I should call Joohyun and tell her if you can stay in her house.” I stand up, my back still hurts but not as much as before. I finally turn around and look at Yeri. I don’t know how to feel. Happy? She was finally free. Then, I remember her with that red haired woman, she was happy too, right? Maybe, she can make her happy and Yeri’s smile will come back. I caress her cheek and she looks at me with her no so innocent eyes. “You need to be safe now.” I turn around and make my way to the car but Yeri’s words stop me.

 

“But I want to be with you, Seulgi, not with Joohyun unnie.” I smile, sadly, and keep walking. I hear her footsteps beside me. “Seulgi, look at me, please.” She held my wrist making me turn around. “I know you think this is bad. I know… I know we can’t be together like that. But I just want to be with you, Seulgi. You are the only one I need right now. Let me be with you, please…” 

 

Coldly, I look at her. The words I’m going to say, I know those words would hurt me like a bullet. Like if someone take my heart and cut it in pieces. But it’s what I have to do so she can be safe and live a peaceful life. “Yeri, I don’t like you that way.” 

 

YERI’S POV 

 

“Yeri, I don’t like you that way.” I look at Seulgi. Is she serious right now? She can’t be, right? I let go of her hand and start walking backwards. 

 

“What? I-I thought you… You did so many things for me… You looked at me like if you, like if you liked me… I can’t understand…” Her back faces me again. Even her back is cold. 

 

“I’m sorry, Yeri. Let me take-“ But I don’t hear the last words she said to me. I don’t want to. I don’t want to hear her rejection again. So I run. I run away from there. She doesn’t even care to come and find me. Then, I look at my phone and I have some messages from Joy. 

 

From 07362-7289: 

 

‘Hey! I’m Joy :3’ 

 

‘I’m watching an horror film. I’m truly horrified :,(‘ 

 

 

I save her number in my phone and dial her number. “Hi”

 

“Hey, Hi Yeri, I didn’t think you would call me so late. What’s the matter?” 

 

I doubt for a moment but after all, I have nothing to lose, right? “Can I go to your house now?” 

 

“Now? Of course, no problem. I’ll pause the film so we can watch it together. See you!” 

 

While I walk to Joy’s house I think about everything that happened today. How Seulgi protected me, she was so brave just so she could save me… Then, why did she say that she didn’t like me? Maybe she just sees me as a little sister. A little sister that liked her. But still, I’m a little sister to her. Damn, what am I going to do now? She is still my teacher and I will have to see her everyday for god’s sake. 

 

“Yeri, are you okay?” I jump in surprise when I hear Joy’s voice. “Oh, I’m sorry I scared you.” She smiles at me, so bright, just like the sun. “I was waiting for you outside the apartment flag just in case something happened to you. This is kind of a dangerous neighborhood at night, you know?” 

 

I nod and we enter her apartment. We sit at her sofa and keep silent. Then, she looks at me. She looks at me like if she knew all of my secrets. Well, she used to. I look back at her. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

 

She comes closer. “What’s bothering you? Why do you have that face and that fake smile? You are not fooling me, Yeri. I know you long enough.” Her gaze was so intense but also full of love. I really want to hug her now and bury my face in that familiar neck. But I don’t want to be vulnerable again. 

 

I look at the television in front of me with the film paused. “Remember that girl I told you that was in my heart? She doesn’t even like me. I guess I got all the signals wrong. Ugh it was impossible from the beginning. She is too old for me, I’m just a girl. She just saw me as her little sister she had to protect.” Then, I look at my hands and smile sadly. But still, all those things she did for me… 

 

Joy hug me. It was kind of an awkward hug but still, I could feel she wanted to make me feel loved, again. “I’m sorry Yeri. You don’t deserve that. Maybe she was playing with you, if she was doing that I swear-“ 

 

“She truly cared for me, it’s not that. I just get everything wrong. I guess it has passed a long time since someone cared for me like that and I misunderstood everything. I’m a mess, Joy.” I look at her and again, those eyes. Caring eyes full of love. 

 

She touches my cheek. “If only you’ll let me be that person to heal your heart, Yeri. I’d do everything right this time.” I look at her and give up. 

 

I just need a little bit of love tonight.


	7. If That Was For You

Your love was worth fighting for, you were the one I’ve been looking for. You’ll be listening to this from somewhere.

 

Sunmi - If That Was For You

 

YERI’S POV

 

Joy still knows how to make me feel better. She still knows which places I like to be touch. Her hands travel up and down. Her kisses makes me feel hot. I feel like ripping my clothes off. She starts kissing my neck and I start taking off her shirt. 

 

“Yeri… Are you sure you want to do this?” 

 

I take her chin and kiss her passionately. “I hope that answer your question.” I devour her neck. I just want to hear her moan and she does. And her moans are like music to my ears. 

 

“L-let’s go to my bedroom…” She takes my wrist and makes me lay on the bed. I separate my legs and she puts her knee there, meeting my center. But I still have my clothes on, why isn’t she touching me? She kisses my earlobe and then, she goes to my collarbone. “You are so pretty, Yerim.” And finally, she takes off my almost dead t-shirt. Her hands in my abdomen and her lips in my nipple are making me soaking wet. 

 

“I want to touch you too.” We change positions and while I sit on top of her, I look at those eyes. Those eyes that are full of lust and love at the same time. And I wonder what my eyes must be telling her. Desperation? Lust? Sadness? To be honest, I don’t even care. I just want her to touch me. I want her to kiss me so hard that I’ll forget everything that happened today. I want her now, that’s all I know. I take off her bra and I start kissing her nipples while her hand goes to my jeans, unzipping them. I take no time in taking them off along with my thong. That’s when I feel her fingers. So soft. “Yes, right there Joy.” I start moving my hips so I can feel her fingers better inside of me. “Keep on going, don’t stop.” 

 

“Put yourself on my face.” I look at her with a shocking face. “Just come here.” And she makes me sit on her face, literally. That’s when her tongue meets my clitoris and her fingers meet my warm hole. The next thing I know is that I’m mess full of moans and a more than needed orgasm. 

 

“T-That was incredible Joy… Really, awesome.” She laughs. Ugh, I forgot she has such a beautiful smile that can melt anyone heart. I grin at her. “But we haven’t finished yet, Joy.” I bite her neck. It’s still her kink. 

 

And as I trace kisses and I’m about to finally touch her, she stops me. “There’s something I bought long ago. I never used it…” She hides her face and stands up, making her way to the wardrobe. She takes something and, is that what I think it is? “The way you moved your hips… I just couldn’t take off my mind the image of you using this with me.” She gives it to me. A strap on. “Be gentle, please.” 

 

She helps me to put it on me. And it feels strange. But I like it. I like the way she is looking at me. I kiss her while I touch her core and god, she is so wet. I introduce two fingers and, after I see there’s enough space for the strap on, I start introducing it. I looked at Joy’s eyes and she looked back at me. And what I saw in her eyes, I didn’t like it. Was she worried? But why do I still worry about her? I take her hips and start introducing the strap on. Joy looks at the way I’m introducing her. At first I thought it hurt, but then, she starts moving her hips, wanting more. I move my hips too, wanting to hear her moans more and more. “Y-Yeri that’s it… Faster…” After that, all I can say is that there were a lot of moans, her nails in my back, and for once, I wanted to be a man so I could feel her inside. I start moving my hips faster, knowing she was about to cum. “Aaah… Yeri… I’m about too…” And while she is coming, I look at her and she looks at me. 

 

It was something beautiful. Sad and beautiful. Beautiful because of the way she cared for me, the way I cared for her. Sad because all I could think about after we finished was Seulgi. I take off the strap on and look at Joy. Is she crying? 

 

“Hey, Joy, are you okay? Why are you crying?” She uses her hands to hide her face and, even though I don’t like seeing her this way, there’s nothing I can do if she doesn’t want to talk to me. I cover us with the blanket. She turn around and her back is facing me now. I hug her for behind and kiss her shoulder. “What’s happening to you? Joy tell me, please…” 

 

“D-did you do this because of that woman? Because she rejected you… That’s why you slept with me, because you couldn’t have her… So, you used me…” I hear her sobs. To be honest, she is right. I did this because I wanted Seulgi and it frustrated me the fact that I could never have her. But when I did it with Joy… I feel something I can’t describe. “It’s okay Yerim, even if this is the only way I can have you, I’ll keep it.” 

 

“It’s not like that Joy. You know, I still-“

 

“Don’t say something you are going to regret later.” She turns around and kiss me. “I’ll still be here when you decide which one you want to be with. Her or me.” And she hugs me. She hugs me like if I could disappear. 

 

And it’s not only my head the one that’s messed but also my heart. 

 

JOY’S POV 

 

I woke up early this morning. The thoughts of what happened last night are still in my head. I shouldn’t have done it with Yeri. She was hurt and I took that opportunity to do something dirty with her. But why am I blaming myself? It’s not like she said ‘No’ to me. Ugh this is just so messed up, I wish I could meet that girl. The girl that Yeri told me about. 

 

Suddenly I bump into someone and when I look at her, wow, she is really cute. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry are you okay?” This stranger asks, with such a soft voice and gentle manners. 

 

Her smile is just, so cute. “Y-yes I’m okay.” 

 

“Are you sure? You spilled your coffee all over your t-shirt.” She signals at me and now I see my white t-shirt is not that white anymore. 

 

“Oh, no!” I was about to start cleaning it up but she takes my wrist and we enter the coffee shop. 

 

“It’s better if we clean your t-shirt in the bathroom.” She smiles at me. Ugh am I really having a crush on someone I don’t even know her name? And like if she had read my mind, she introduces herself. “I’m Seungwan, nice to meet you!” 

 

“Seungwan? Isn’t that a boy’s name?” She pouts, cute. “I’m Joy, nice to meet you too!” We shake hands and her hand is so soft. 

 

“So, mmm, take this, it’s a t-shirt I just bought. I hope it fits you.” She give it to me, smiling.

 

“I can’t accept this Seungwan, you just bought it. It’s not fair.” 

 

“But it was me the one that spilled coffee in your t-shirt, right?” 

 

“Ugh, okay, but I’ll return it to you.” 

 

“Okay! We can meet tomorrow, if you want! Same coffee shop at 5 p.m.?” 

 

I nod. “I’ll be here, then.” 

 

I made my way to the apartment, happy. I have this good feeling about Seungwan, she seemed such a kind hearted person. “Is Yeri still sleeping?” 

 

I walk into the bedroom, and there she is, sleeping peacefully. She just looks so beautiful. Her hair is a little messy and the mattress isn’t covering part of her chest. I could look at her all day, and don’t get bored. 

 

She starts rubbing her eyes. “Joy? You came back?” 

 

I sit next to her, caressing her hair. “Yes, I bring you coffee and your favorite donut.” 

 

She smiles at me and sit next to me. “Joy, I want to talk about last night. I need to tell you something.” She covers herself with the blanket and I nod at her to keep talking. I’m really nervous right now, she could dump me, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that. “Yesterday was like a rollercoaster for me. There are things that happened in my life that are difficult. The thing is, when I met her, when I met Seulgi.” And she smiled, she smiled remembering her. “I was working in something illegal, won’t tell you what. And she came and helped me get out of there. She was so caring and lovable. When she told me I was free, I thought it’ll mean we could be together. I thought she did all those things because she liked me. But I was. I was so damn wrong. She just saw me as a sister she had to protect. I can’t hate her though, she helped me more than anyone. After she rejected me, the only person I could thought was you. So I came here, I messed things up and I’m sorry if I hurt you, it was never my intention.” Then, she looked at me, full of hope. “But I want to try this, whatever it is. I just need time, okay? My life has been messed up, and I need to recover.” 

 

I nod and kiss her forehead. “I’ll give you all the time you need, as I told you, I’ve been waiting for you. If you to go slow, then, we’ll do that.” 

 

She smiled at me, hugging me. And I can say, this is what I call happiness. 

 

SEULGI’S POV

 

It’s been fifteen days. Fifteen days without seeing Yerim. Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking this after having sex with a stranger. Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking about her, wasn’t me the one that puss her away? I look at the stranger next to me, who is standing up and dressing up. 

 

“I’m going now… Mmm-“

 

“Seulgi.” 

 

“Yeah, that. I had a great time.” 

 

And she leaves. Another stranger. Another night alone in my bed, with this hole in my heart that it’s just getting bigger. I get up. These nights, it’s impossible to sleep for me. I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s 12:30 am. Is she sleeping? Or is she partying? I take my phone, if I call her would she answer? But without noticing it, I press her number, and call her. One tone, two tones, three-

 

“Hi- yah stop it Yerim-ah, someone is calling you.” That’s not Yeri’s voice. I hear giggles and laughs on the other line. 

 

“Hi? I’m Yeri.” That’s when my heart starts beating fast. 

 

“Yeri…” 

 

“Seulgi?!” 

 

“Yeri, I-I miss you…” There, I said it. And I relax, I know she can laugh at me or just get angry with me (like if she wasn’t already) but I just, I had to tell her. 

 

“Let’s meet tomorrow at 11 am, in that park near the high school. It’s late and I have other things to do now rather than meeting you.” Her tone is cold and she hangs up before I can say anything but I guess it’s okay, right? 

 

I did this for her, so she could be okay. But I still asking myself if I did this for her or for me. Because I was so scared. I was so scared thinking that she could get in trouble near me. We met at 11 am but it’s 11:30 am and she isn’t here. Maybe she was just making fun of me. 

 

“What do you want Seulgi?” I look up and I see her. She is so beautiful. She looks healthier and changed her hair color again to the black one. I must look like shit, even though I get a shower before coming, my eye bags are very noticeable. I signal the spot next to me in the bench but she shook her head. “Just tell me, I don’t want to waste my time, again.” 

 

She is so cold towards me, like ice. “I-I’m sorry” 

 

“That’s it?” I nod. “You made me come here just to say ‘I’m sorry’ oh god. You are so whipped Yeri, for god’s sake.” 

 

I look at her. “I know I hurt you when I said those words. And I know you didn’t believe those words, I couldn’t believe them myself. But every time we are together, something bad happens. I just wanted you to be safe, okay? I didn’t know what to do but I knew that if you’d stay with me, they would find you. And I can’t live like that, thinking that you are in danger every second you are near me.”

 

Yeri sits next to me, dumbfounded. “I don’t understand, why am I danger?” 

 

“Your uncle. I’m his new target. He wasn’t only involve in prostitution, he also kidnapped girls, sold drugs and illegal weapons. And I destroyed all of this, so you could be free. Most of his puppies are in jail but there are others that we don’t know where they are. And we are pretty sure those puppies are following me.” 

 

“We?” 

 

I look at her and her hand is close to my thigh. I really want to hold her hand but I can’t. “The police and I. The thing is, your uncle doesn’t want me dead. He wants me dead inside. He wants to see me suffer. And he knows t-that you are the most precious thing for me.” She looks surprised, maybe she did believe those words I told her that day. “That’s why I pushed you away. Because something bad would happen to you.” 

 

She hits my shoulder, three times. “You are so stupid, couldn’t you just tell me the truth? No, you had to lie to me, making me think that I was just a delusional girl in love with her high school teacher.” 

 

“Well, aren’t you?” I laugh and she hits my shoulder again. This feels nice. “Would you have gone if I had told you the truth?” 

 

She shook her head. “No, because you are the only one I had left. You are the only one that really worried about me. The only one that did something to end all of my suffers. I don’t think you know, but you are really important to me, Seulgi. And even though I told myself to stop thinking about you, to stop having this feelings, I can’t. I’m not able to do it.” She looks at me, my eyes meets hers. “I love you, Seulgi.” 

 

And she kisses me. Her hands goes to my waist while mine go to her cheeks. I can’t believe this is happening. I end the kiss and look at her “I love you too, Yeri.” She smiles and kiss me again. I don’t want this to end, never. 

 

Then, I feel some liquid in Yeri’s mouth. When I open my eyes, I see blood. I see blood in Yeri’s mouth and stomach. 

 

“YERI!”


	8. Last Dance

Way too young to hurt so long

I’m hurtin’

Was it worth it?

 

Last Dance - Dua Lipa 

 

I close my eyes looking at her. The last image I want to have in my head is her face even if she is crying. Then, I hear Seulgi screaming. I hear her calling my name. But I can’t open my eyes. I can’t move. I blank out.

 

Bip bip bip 

 

“This is all your fault this is all your freaking fault!” Is that Joy’s voice? 

 

“I know! Okay? I freaking know! You don’t have to tell me! If you came here just to blame me you can fucking go now!” Seulgi… Why do you sound so broke?

 

“You wish I was going somewhere! I’m staying here, with her. You should be the one going. It’s your fault she hasn’t woken up yet. It’s been a month and she is still here. Not waking up.” I’ve been here for a month? 

 

“I’m not going anywhere until she wakes up. I don’t care what you say. I’m not leaving her.” 

 

“You are the worst, you want her to be dead or what? Because that’s what’s going to happen if you stay by her side. She is going to end up dead.” 

 

“Don’t you dare say that!!” 

 

“Let me go, don’t touch me!” Are they fighting? Stop, please, stop! 

 

“Seulgi, what do you think you are doing?!” I hear some ruffling and a chair landing on the floor. “What do you think you two idiots are doing?! Fighting in front of her? Do you think that would wake Yeri up? Of course no, you idiots!” I’ve never heard Irene talking so harsh with someone. I think she is getting closer. I want to open my eyes. I want to see her. But I can’t. She holds my hand. “Yeri, I miss you. I like it when you are a troublemaker and I always have to go after you. I like my little troublemaker, so, could you wake up? For me?” She is sniffing, is she crying? 

 

“Irene…” 

 

“Could you give me a minute with Yerim? I need to talk to her alone.” 

 

“Irene, I’m sorr-“ 

 

“Just go Seulgi!” 

 

She hold my hand again. I think they left. “Yeri, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize what was happening to you. I didn’t have time with the wedding and Wendy. I’m so sorry Yerim… Could you be able to forgive me one day? One day when you wake up and I could tell you I’m pregnant. You are the first one I’m telling this. You know you always were like my daughter. I should have took better care of you, my Yerim.” She hugs me. I want to do it too. I want to congratulate her because she is finally going to be a mom. “And please, forgive Seulgi too, she never wanted to put you in danger. She wants to go overseas once you wake up. She just wants to see you waking up, being healthy, and then leave. She thinks it’s the best thing she can do. But I don’t think so. She loves you so much Yerim. She even left the school in order to take care of you. She stays here every day. This hospital room is like her second home now.” She sits next to me, in the bed. She is laughing but she is crying at the same time. “She even said that her home is where you are. If you are her home why does she wants to move overseas?” 

 

Someone enter the room. “Honey, we should go-“ 

 

I’m starting to get sleepy again. And then, I fall sleep. 

 

“Yeri… I’m so sorry… Please, wake up, please…” A hand is holding my hand. I hear Seulgi talking to me. She sounds so broke. So empty. “If only you could smile at me one more time. If only you could forgive me. If only I was strong enough to protect you, you wouldn’t be here.” She is crying. I can’t stand this. Body, move! Move! Finally, my finger obeys my head. “Yeri?! Yeri, did you just move your finger? Can you hear me?” I move my finger again, hoping this helps. “YERI!” She kisses my forehead. “I’ll be back in a minute.” 

 

I think she is out of the bedroom. I wish I could open my eyes but I can’t, I really want to see her. I want to tell her to stay by my side. 

 

SEULGI’S POV 

 

“Nurse!!” I approach Yeri’s nurse. “S-She moved, she moved her finger. I-I asked her if she heard me and she moved her finger twice.” 

 

“Okay, okay, calm down Miss Kang.” I can hear my heart beating so fast. She is waking up. She is going to be okay. She won’t have to suffer anymore when I leave...

 

We both enter the room. I see her there, laying in the bed. Since the day I opened the door and enter here I always felt empty. The idea of her not waking up was eating me inside. The guilty was eating me. The guilty made me miserable. I know, everything was my fault. I should have never take that risk. If I didn’t call her, this wouldn’t happen. If she wasn’t with me that day in the park, she would be happy now, enjoying the afternoon with Joy. There were so many ‘ifs’ in my mind every time I enter this room. It’s going to be so hard to leave you, but I have to do it. 

 

“She is going to wake up soon. I’m pretty sure she could wake up in a few hours. I’ll call the doctor, so, you better stay outside for the meantime, okay?” 

 

“Okay, after that, I can enter the room again, right?” 

 

“Yes, but now, you should leave.” 

 

I nod and leave the room. I don’t know what I should do now. I just can’t stop thinking about Yeri. I can’t stop thinking about seeing her laughing and eating. Even if it’s not with me. Oh, maybe I should phone her. 

 

“Hey, you!” 

 

“Ugh, Seulgi? What the hell do you want?”

 

“It’s Yeri, she is waking up.” 

 

“WHAT?! I’m going, I’m going now!” 

 

Tsk, this Joy girl is head over heels for Yeri. The first time I met her, I hated her. She was always screaming at me. She only talked to me to tell me that I had to leave, that I wasn’t doing any good to Yeri. It’s not like she is wrong but I already know, why does she have to remember it every time? But now, I realized she is the only one that can take care of Yeri when I’ll go. She is the one that can make her feel loved and protected. She cares for Yeri, a lot. She is always fighting with me about who is going to stay the night in the hospital. She talks to Yeri and sing her songs. I just hope that even if Yeri is with her and doesn’t love me anymore, I hope she remembers me. That’s the only thing I need. 

 

“Why didn’t you enter dumb bear?” I see Joy in front of me, how much time I’ve been thinking about this topic? 

 

“You should enter first.” 

 

“Are you sure?” I nod. “Okay, but then don’t start crying because I’m the first one that she is going to see when she wakes up.” 

 

“It’s okay...” I look at Joy’s back, entering the room. She left the door open. And that’s when I see her. She is smiling. Even though, she isn’t smiling at me, I feel happy. I feel happy because I know she is happy. 

“I missed you, Joy.” I hear her say. 

 

“It’s okay, I won’t leave, I’m not going anywhere, Yeri.” I see her touching Yeri’s face. I see her kissing Yeri. I see her hugging Yeri and kissing her again. She is happy, I should be happy, right? I feel something wet in my cheeks. I’m crying. Why does everything have to be so hard? Why is so hard to leave her? Why is so hard to see her with Joy? 

 

“You fought with Seulgi, right?” 

 

“Yes, we fought a lot, I don’t like seeing her here.” 

 

“Mmm, I hear her talking to me, is she here?” 

 

“She is outside. I don’t know why she didn’t enter yet.” 

 

I hear footsteps so I go back and sit on the chair next to the room. 

 

“Hey, you, I think Yeri wants to see you. So, you better enter, I’m not giving you too much time. I want to be with her.” And I know what she means with that last sentence. She isn’t only saying it because she wants to be with Yeri now, but being with Yeri, as a couple. 

 

“Seulgi...” She looks at me. She is crying, why is she crying? 

 

“Yeri, don’t cry...” I hug her. “Everything is going to be okay. There’s no need to cry. You’ve already woken up.” 

 

She tighten the hug. “D-don’t go, please.” Does she know what I’m planning to do? “Stay.” 

 

I end the hug and look at her. Her tears are there and I want to wipe them out but if I do, if I keep looking at her like that, I won’t be able to leave. “Yeri... it’s for the best, I’m doing this for you.” I kiss her forehead and I get away. “I’ll be leaving now. I hope you are happy Yeri.” 

 

I start walking. I’m almost there, in the door, when she screams. “How can be the best to leave the one you love behind?! How can be the best for me to see you go?! Huh?! Tell me, Kang Seulgi!! How can you leave someone that loves you so much behind? How...” I hear her sniffing. It’s not like if she is the only crying. 

 

If I turn around, what would happen? Would we be happy? If I go, will she ever be able to forgive me? I turn around and I look at her. “Do you think I want to leave?” I start walking towards her bed. “Do you think is easy for me to see you with Joy?” She looks at me, with those not so innocent eyes. “Every time I entered this room, I felt empty. Because you didn’t wake up. Guilty is eating me alive.” I’m Now next to her bed. “When I look at you I only think of what could happen if I never called you that day. If I wasn’t so selfish, you wouldn’t be here. So please, don’t try to change my mind.” 

 

But she is fast and takes my collar jacket. She hugs me. “All I know if you go again, if you leave me, I’ll feel empty. I’ll have a hole in my heart. A hole that only you can cover. Not Joy but you.” Her teary eyes are telling me something. She is begging me to stay. I look at her trembling lips. “If you leave, I’ll be even more miserable than before I met you. So please, don’t go. I only want to be with you, why can’t you understand it? I only love you.” 

 

“It’s not that easy...” But she is looking at me with those eyes. The eyes I can’t say ‘no’ to. “Yeri, if I stay with you, it’ll be dangerous for you, you already saw that.” 

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“No, don’t say that, you are so young. You need to live life. You need to have someone by your side that cares for you. Someone that makes you happy.” 

 

She holds my hand. “But that’s exactly what you make me feel, Seulgi. I don’t need nobody else.” 

 

“You can be with Joy. She loves you so much. She will take care of you. She will make you feel loved.” I want to hug her. I want to kiss her. I can’t.

 

“But I want you. I want you to do those things, don’t you understand it?” 

 

“Don’t you understand that if I stay by your side you could end up killed?!” I shouted at her. “Don’t cry, please. I can’t see you crying.” 

 

I get close to her, trying to wipe away her tears. But she looks and kiss me. And I feel it again. I feel an overwhelming feeling. Love. The kiss doesn’t last long after not reciprocating. But I take her chin and kiss her. And her hand goes to my waist. And this feels so good. Like I finally know what she is being trying to tell me all this time. She knows, I know, that even if we kiss other people we would never feel this way. 

 

“Are you going to leave now?”

 

“No. Of course not.” She kiss me again. And I guess this what you call happiness.


	9. Time To Love

I think I know that two people have fallen in love

Ah shall we begin, how I’ve waited this

Time to love

Red Velvet - Time To Love 

15 days after the accident 

 

“Seulgi for God’s sake, you need to calm down.” 

 

“I can’t, okay? It’s been 15 freaking days and she hasn’t woke up yet.”

 

Yuri puts her hand on my shoulder. “Honey, she received two gun shots. One in her stomach and the other one dangerously near her heart. After these years being a police I can tell you that it’s a blessing she is still alive.” 

 

I can feel my tears forming in my eyes. But this is not the time for crying. This is time to find the freaking man that shot Yeri. 

 

“What do we know about him?” 

 

“Well, it seems we can’t find his real name. He was business associated with Yeri’s uncle. They called him Mister Handsome.”

 

“Ugh, it’s incredible we can’t find his real name.” I started thinking. That name... No way! “He is the one that raped Yeri!” 

 

“What?!” Yuri looked at me with a serious face. 

 

“He... That fucking bastard shot Yerim!!!” I pull my hair, desperate. “He didn’t have enough when he raped her, no, he has to go and shot her, but why?! Why did he need to do that?!” I start crying again. “Yeri has nothing... She doesn’t deserve this. I should be the one in that bed and not her... It’s not her fault but mine.” 

 

“Hey Seulgi.” Yuri hugs me, but right now I would prefer if she just stabbed me. I can’t keep living like this, not knowing when she will wake up. “Seulgi is not your fault. In other case, you saved her. Do you think she would have survive a long time in that stripclub? No, of course no.” 

 

I pull away from Yuri. “Yes, it’s my fault, it’s my fault falling in love with her. It’s my fault I kept looking for her. That’s all my fault. If I just stopped looking for her, she will be happily living with Joy right now.” 

 

“But would you be happy if you had never tried?” I keep silent. “Exactly, you wouldn’t be happy if you didn’t try. Look, I don’t know what’s going on inside your head now but don’t do stupid things, okay?” 

 

“Hmm, there’s only one thing in my mind now and it’s to find him.” Then, I remember. “I think there’s someone who can help us.” 

 

I dial her number. 

 

“Dumb Seulgi what the hell you want? I’m driving!” 

 

“Good afternoon to you too, Joy!”

 

“Whatever, just tell me what you want.” 

 

“Remember that day you saw Yeri again? When you bumped against her.”

 

“Eh!!! I didn’t bumped against her!! But yes I remember, why?” 

 

“You told me you work in a coffee shop unbelievable close to the club where Yeri was working.” 

 

“Yes? Anyways, what does all of this have to do with Yeri?” 

 

“Just listen, okay? Have a man, a good looking man, entered that coffee shop?” 

 

“You’ll have to be more specific because there’s a lot of men that enter the coffee shop.” 

 

“Someone with an expensive suit, that is well combed. Someone that will enter about 8pm or 9pm.” 

 

“Mmm let me think... OH YES I KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!” 

 

“Okay!!! You didn’t need to shout!!!”

 

“Mmm he is a regular customer. And if I’m not wrong his name is Donghae mmm Lee Donghae!!!” 

 

“This is the first and last time that I’m going to tell you this but thank you so much Joy!!!!” 

 

“Was I really that helpful?”

 

“I’ll explain it to you later!” 

 

I hung up the phone and look a Yuri. “We have a name, Yuri. Lee Donghae.” 

 

24 hours before Yeri wakes up 

 

JOY’S POV 

 

“Wendy... Are you okay? You spaced out again.” 

 

Wendy looked at me and blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. “I think this got out of hand, Joy.” She stands up and goes to the kitchen. 

 

I hug her from behind. “We aren’t doing anything wrong, Wendy.” I kiss her shoulder. She smells so good. I can’t help but kiss her neck and then her shoulder again.

 

“I’m married, Joy... This, whatever it is, can’t happen.”

 

I make her turn around. “Wasn’t Joohyun the one who said that needed some time to think about everything? And then kicked you out of your own house without any further explanation? Wasn’t she?” She looks at her hands but I take her chin. “If she loves you that much, then, why isn’t she here with you? Why did she kick you out?” 

 

“I wish I knew...” She starts crying again. It’s been like this from the past two days and I don’t know what to do anymore.

 

“Hey, hon.” I hug her. Tight. I caress her hair. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay.” 

 

“She’s the only one I loved in my entire life. Then, why leave me now? After we married, why now? It should be the happiest time of our marriage.” She sobs and I can feel my shirt getting wet. She keeps hugging me. “I should be baking for her those cookies she likes so much. I should be cuddling with her in our bed. But she kicked me out... Did I do something wrong?” 

 

I wipe her tears. “You did nothing wrong.” I kiss her forehead. “You know this purple dark whatever hair color really suits you. I can’t understand how Joohyun doesn’t appreciate you.” 

 

She looks up. “What did you say?” 

 

I blush, she is looking at me a little bit too intensively. “It’s nothing...” I smirk at her. “Now, will you stop crying over someone who doesn’t want you and pay attention to this hottie in front of you?” 

 

She blinks again. Twice. “C’mon Wendy, I just want to kiss you again. I want to make sure of something...” My hands in her waist. It feels good. It feels right. 

 

“What is that you want to make sure of?” She puts her hands on my shoulder. And then, I feel it again. The argue to kiss her again.

 

“It’s just something...” And I kiss her. This time I do it slowly. Taking my time to explore her mouth. Paying attention to the little details like how her right hand will go to my cheek. Or how much she likes it when I bite her bottom lip. “You are such a good kisser.” I kiss her cheek. And that’s when I feel it again, she is crying. But why does it hurt when I see her crying? 

 

“That kiss... You...” 

 

I wipe her tears out again. “What?” 

“It’s been a long time since someone kissed me like that. Joohyun used to do it like that but...” She gives me a sad smile. “But the kisses got quicker once we married. We didn’t spend many time together either. I guess she was trying to tell me something back then, but I didn’t even realize.” 

 

“And do you know what I’m trying to tell you?” 

 

She smile at me, that sad smile again. “I’m not the one for you, Joy.” 

 

I see her leaving the kitchen and taking her things. I follow her. “What do you mean?” 

 

“What I mean if that I would have loved to meet you earlier. But that didn’t happen. And I still love Joohyun. It’s not easy, Joy.” I see her going to the front door of my apartment. She must be leaving now. I don’t have the strength to accompany her to the door. 

 

I sit on the sofa. “Why is it that every time I have feelings for someone that person is in love with someone else?” I said it very slowly and in a low volume. A tear leaves my eye. And then more tears come out.

 

“What?” I turn around and I see Wendy next to the sofa, just behind me. But I thought she left! Oh my god she listened to everything I said. “What did you just say?” 

 

“It’s nothing Wendy! I was just thinking out loud.” 

 

“I’m not buying that, Joy.” She sits next to me. “You have feelings for me?” 

 

“Maybe? Kind of?” I look at her but she is just looking at me with a worried look. “It’s okay Wendy, I know how to deal with these things. I deal with Yeri kissing me even though I knew she was imagining that she was kissing Seulgi. That must be what you did when I kissed you, you imagined that you were kissing Joohyun.” 

 

She hold my hands. “No, Joy. I wasn’t doing that. I was thinking about you.” She side-smiled. “Don’t you love Yeri anymore?” 

 

I sigh. “It’s not that. It’s that you came suddenly and being so nice and cheerful. You would came and talk to me when I fought with Seulgi. And then, the next day you would bring me food to make me feel better.” I smile remembering that moment. That was sweet. “And the day we first met, when you gave me that t-shirt because we bumped and my shirt was all drenched.” I look at my hands, avoiding her eyes. “Maybe if you weren’t so nice to me. If you didn’t have those soft hands or that smile. Maybe I wouldn’t feel like this.” I smile at here even though it hurts so much inside. “But it’s okay, go get Joohyun. She is the one you love.”

 

“Joy I-“

 

“Don’t say things that you don’t really feel.” I look at her one last time. “I already had enough of people making like they care for me.” I hold my tears, already forming at my eyes. “Just go get Joohyun, okay? If you need something, call me.”

 

I guide her to the door. “You deserve to be loved Joy.”

 

“Yah yah, if you end up with Joohyun again, she better take care of you, huh?”

 

Unexpectedly, she hugs me. “I’m not going to see Joohyun.” She said it so low, but I still manage to hear what she said. “See you later Joy.” 

 

She left and I close the door. Who is the one I really want? 

 

Present time 

 

SEULGI’S POV

 

“We checked her heartbeat. She seems to be okay but she still needs to rest, okay?” I nod at his words. “But she’ll be able to leave the hospital next week, after we do more check ups.” 

 

The doctor leaves and I look at Joy. “So...” 

 

She looks hurt. More like disappointed. “So what Kang Seulgi?” 

 

I don’t like Joy but that doesn’t mean that I like seeing her hurt. “Did you hear what I talked with Yeri?” She nods. “And?” 

 

“I think is time for me to move on.” 

 

“What?”

 

She sighs and looks at me with a serious face. “I’m done with whatever I had with Yeri. It’s like going against a wall. She doesn’t love me, she loves you.” 

 

“Hey! How’s Yerim?” I see Joohyun and Wendy walking towards us. 

 

I see Joy and Wendy looking at each other with a serious face. What is going between those two? “She is fine. They are going to do some check ups and she’ll be going home in a week.” 

 

“Seungwan, do you want to enter with me?” 

 

“No, it’s okay. I’ll enter later.” These two seem weird too.

 

WENDY’S POV 

 

After Seulgi and Irene leave to see Yeri, I look at Joy. She looks bad. Really bad.

 

I touch her hand but she take my hand off. “Hey Joy, are you okay?” 

 

“You went back with Joohyun, right?” She doesn’t even look at me. And the way she answer is so cold...

 

I take a deep breath before processing the words I’m going to say. “She’s pregnant.” 

 

Joy looks more than surprised, with her mouth wide open. “What?!” 

 

“Yes, that’s why she was acting so strange lately. She wanted to keep it in secret, so it’ll be a surprise to me.” 

 

“Oh.” She stands up, taking her coat. “I guess I should be leaving now. It’s not like anyone is going to miss me anyways.” 

 

“Hey, don’t say that.” I stand up and I take her wrist. “We can still be friends, Joy.” I make her look at me. “I really like you as a friend, you are really funny.” 

 

“The only difference is that I don’t want us to be friends. And if I was funny it was because of you. Because I wanted you. And I thought the slow one was Seulgi...” She puts on her coat, then looks at Yeri’s room, and then, she kisses me. “Thank you for everything, it was nice to meet you. I hope you can live happily with Joohyun and your child...” 

 

I look at her perplexed. She is leaving but I’m just standing here. Should I do something? Probably not, it’ll just hurt her more. 

 

“Hey, Wan-ah.” Joohyun hugs me from behind. “Come to see Yeri. I don’t want to let her too much time alone with Seulgi.” 

 

I turn around and look at Joohyun. “It’s not like they didn’t kiss already, honey.” 

 

“But Yerim is so young...” 

 

I kiss her cheek. “Seulgi is going to take good care of her. Stop worrying so much.” 

 

“I can’t help it...” She looks behind me. “Where’s Joy anyway?” 

 

“Oh, she had to go.” I give her a fake smile. “Let’s go and see Yeri.” 

 

One week later 

 

YERI’S POV

 

“Well, it seems that you can go home now, Miss Kim.” The doctor looks at Seulgi. “I hope you can take care of her, Miss Kang.” 

 

“Y-Yes, I’ll do it.” She looks so cute all flustered. She takes my luggage and kiss my cheek. “Are you ready to go home?” 

 

I nod. “Actually, I don’t know if I should ask you this.” I feel her fingers interlacing mine. So soft. “I just... Can I stay at your house until I have to return to high school?” 

 

Seulgi looks surprised but smile at me with that smile that melts my heart. “Of course you can, Yeri.” 

 

“I don’t know if that is a good idea, Yerim.” Irene looks at me serious. “I know there’s only two months left until you are an adult, but right now you are still a minor. And if people from the school see you with Seulgi they can suspect things.” 

 

“It’s going to be okay, Joohyun. Stop worrying so much. I’m not going to do things with her that she doesn’t want to do.” Seulgi winks at Joohyun.

 

We get in Seulgi’s car and that’s when Irene explodes. “You can’t touch her until she is an adult, Seulgi!” And Seulgi blush madly. “I know how much she suffered, so could you at least wait a bit.” 

 

“Did you forgot that I’m right here? You can’t decide what I want or don’t want to do, Irene.” Since I’m sitting next to Seulgi, in the copilot seat, I turn around so I can speak with Irene. “I know you are worried about me, but Seulgi has been nothing but nice to me. Even when she wanted to leave me, I know she wanted to do that because she thought it was the best for me.” 

 

Seulgi hold my hand, so tenderly. “I won’t do anything she doesn’t want to do, Joohyun.” 

 

“Mmph okay.” 

 

After some minutes we arrive in front of Irene’s and Wendy’s house. “Take care of her Wendy! Don’t let her take heavy things.” Wendy nods and smiles at us.

 

While Seulgi is driving, I look at her side profile. Her ears, eyes, cheeks, nose, lips. Everything about her is beautiful. “If you keep looking at me like that, I won’t hold myself anymore and kiss you.” 

 

I gulped. “Why don’t you do it?” 

 

She smiles. “Because I prefer to do it at home.” 

 

Home. It sounded beautiful in Seulgi’s mouth. Home. Somewhere where at the end of the day I’ll see her.

 

We get out of the car and she takes my luggage. She is in complete silence until we arrive at her house. “There’s something I want you to know, Yeri.” She makes me sit next to her in the sofa. “The man that tried to kill you is in jail now.”

 

I look at her, almost crying. “Really?” 

 

She nods. “It was thanks to Joy we could identify him. It seems that he used to go to the coffee shop where Joy works and she knew his name.” 

 

Thinking about Joy makes me sad. I feel bad because I used her. It was so selfish of me. But at that time I was trying to lie to myself and make me believe that I could forget Seulgi by being with Joy. But here I am, next to Seulgi. “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you did for me, Seulgi.” 

 

She hugs me and kiss my shoulder. “There’s nothing you have to do. If I did all of this is because I love you, Yeri.” She looks at me in the eyes. “And I’ll never stop loving you, you know that?” 

 

I kiss her like how I wanted to kiss her everyday at the hospital. Like how I wanted to kiss her when we were in the car. Her kiss is sweet and addictive. I take off my coat and start making my way so I can be on top of her. Sitting on her lap while my legs are folded on the sides. She takes off her jacket and I want so much to take off her shirt. But she stops. “Don’t you think we are going a little bit too fast Yeri? Maybe what Joohyun said is true. I should wait until...” But I pull her closer to me and kiss her. So rough. Her hands touching my back. She cuts the kiss again. “It’s just I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you or anything, I want you to be good.” 

 

I laugh. “Do you think that in the position I’m right now that I could possibly think that you are taking advantage of me? More like I’m thirsty and you are all I want to have right now, Seulgi. I’ve been waiting so much time for this moment to come that I can’t wait anymore.” I take off my jumper. She opens her mouth, surprised. “C’mon you already saw me naked, why are you so surprised?” 

 

She kisses me, pulling me closer by the neck. “Because every time I look at you, you are prettier.” 

 

I smile while touching her hair. “Sweet talker you are.” 

 

“Only for you.” She takes off my bra. Kissing my collarbones and then touching my nipples. If she keeps teasing me like that...

 

“Take... take me...” I say while a few moans escape my mouth.

 

She smiles against my skin. “Where do you want me to take you? The park?” Then, she suck my nipple.

 

I bite my bottom lip. “P-please stop teasing...” 

 

She kisses me. Her tongue against mine making me moan. “Okay then.” She takes me by my thighs. We enter the bedroom and she places me on the bed. She takes off her shirt. God, her abs looks so good. I run my fingers on her abs and the her inner thigh. “Careful there.” She sucks my earlobe and then her kisses start to go down. Taking her time on my nipples and then my abdomen. The anticipation is rising inside me. 

 

“Just take them off...” I say between moans.

 

Seulgi smirks. “What do you want me to take off?” I unbutton her jeans. “Oh, you are fast.” She takes them off along with her panties. I was about to take off my jeans too but she stops me. “Let me do this, babe.” After taking my jeans and my panties, she makes me open my legs. I blush. This is the first time Seulgi is seeing me like this and I don’t know how to feel. I can’t even look at her. “You are so beautiful...” She kiss my inner thighs and then stops and licks my clit. I shiver. This is a sensation I’ve never had before. She starts licking my center and oh god, this is how heaven must be. Then, she stops and kiss me. Her breath is now on my ear. “Yeri, is okay if I enter two fingers?” I nod and that’s when I feel it. I move my hips in sync with Seulgi’s fingers.

 

“I don’t think I can take it anymore...” My moans become louder and that’s when she enters another finger. I can already feel my walls tightening. “P-please, faster, Seulgi.” She kisses me before going down. Again, her sweet tongue got me losing my head. With my eyes rolling back. I don’t even care how loud my moans are. And that’s when I feel it. The overwhelming orgasm. Something that has made us become one. 

 

She licks her fingers and kisses me. “You taste so good.” 

 

I blush. “Oh, shut up.” I hit her shoulder lightly. I kiss her while my hand goes down. “It’s your turn now.” I lick her nipple. Then, I touch her center. “Seems like someone is a little bit wet, huh?” 

 

She smiles. “It’s what happens when you make love with the hottest girl ever.” I kiss her. Her mouth. Her jaw. Her collarbones. Her nipples. And then, I start touching her clit. Her moans grow louder and I keep doing it faster while kissing her. I like to hear her moan against my mouth. That’s when I slid two fingers inside her while my thumb keeps touching her clit. “Ah, Yeri... That’s the spot.” I do it faster and I feel her walls tightening around my fingers. “Yeri... ah!” I look at her face while she is having the orgasm. 

 

I suck my fingers. “You taste really good too.” She smiles and hugs me. Then, she covers us with the blanket. We are face to face. I touch her cheek and then, her hair. “I love you so much, Seulgi.” 

 

She kisses my forehead. “I love you too, Yeri.” She hugs me, with my head in her chest. 

 

I hear her heart going crazy. “Why are your heartbeats so loud?” 

 

She caresses my back. “Because I can finally be with the girl I’m in love. Because after everything that happened, you are here hugging me. And I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe I’m able to make you happy.” 

 

I smile against her skin. “You made me happy since the first day I saw you. That was the first time I enjoyed my job.” I kiss her chest.

 

“And to think that we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Wendy. Because she didn’t want a lap dance.” She laughs and hugs me tightly. 

 

I guess this is the start of something new and beautiful with the woman I love the most.


End file.
